LMAO, that's funny! Very sick and wrong but funny.
And to explain the tire track one....
1. The workaholic didn't have tire tracks. He's been at work so long that his car is covered in ice and the tire tracks from when he arrived at work have been iced over.
2. The boss drives directly into his spot. That's why there are a single set of tracks.
3. The secretary can't park worth a shit so she kept having to pull in and back out to get her car straight. That's why there are so many tire tracks.